Football season

Well we have officially entered into the most unproductive time of year. For all business owners out there, just realize that your employees will be significantly less productive from now until January. However in January you will be back to 75% as College football will be over and NFL is in the home stretch. Now that we all know that we are going to be less productive and engage in social loafing more often through the day, lets talk Football.

1. I have noticed that I am more excited this year for some reason. I am in 1 fantasy league and one Survivor league. Advice... To all that are in some form of fantasy league, follow your gut. If you have a feeling follow it.

2. Why is everyone Mic up? This year the center of each team will ware a microphone so we can hear the cadence? Why? I have no idea what they are saying little lone what they mean. Hike the ball and play. Don't need to hear it. Do we really need to hear pregame rants from linebackers as well?? NO we do not. Coaches in the locker room?? we have seen what is really said by coaches from watching Hard Knocks so we know that what the coaches are saying is not real anyway. What they are saying is filler until the camera is off.

3. Last but not least why are we (as a society) building these new, huge, multi billion dollar stadiums only to try to make it more like being at home?? This does not make sense. I have 3D TV, now everyone is waring a Mic and I don't have to fight traffic, pay to park, sit next to a meatball, or overpay for food that I can make myself. News Flash: You go to the stadium for the stadium atmosphere. NOT to feel like your at home. Make me want to be apart of the Stadium atmosphere and then I will want to come. For now I got the better deal: Home,Couch, food and a fast forward button.

All in all I am ready for this season. Fall, Football and family is why this is the greatest time of the year. So while your being unproductive try to get some stuff done. And for all you Bosses out there, remember to factor in Football when you make your quarterly projections.

Street Mascots and YOU.

Well sorry for the long delay between posts but having a baby will put your schedule on hold for awhile. For those that did not know Beckett Jacob Maxfield was born on 28th of April of 2010. It was an amazing event to be apart of. I am so proud to be a father again.

Ok now on to my issue. Street Mascots. I would like to institute an official rule that your company cannot have a street mascot without a permit. Who would issue these permits?? ME and only me. The only time that a permit is not needed is if the unemployment rate gets above 50 percent. Once the unemployment rate is at half of our population we can allow Street Mascots only for the fact this would create jobs. For no other reason would there be a time that permits are not required.

I really would like to know if there is a person out there that does not know that Little Caesar Pizza is 5$ or that April 15th is Tax day? Do we really need the Statue of Liberty or Uncle Sam walking up and down the street waving as us at stop lights from January until April. I will not even get going on Gorillas waving for Car sales. Never understood the correlation between Gorillas and selling cars.

So here is what I purpose is that we boycott anyone that has a street mascot. I will leave it up to your discretion on how you would like to handle it but we need to stand up and do something about clearing our side walks of people dressed in so called "costumes" and waving at us. This is a call to action who is with me?? Oh I am sure that there is some tax evasion and child labor laws that are being violated but I will save that for another post.

Will that be all for you today??

Will that be all for you today? How many times have we heard this while placing an order at an eating establishment?? What usually follows this question? Well if you are an active listener you will then tell me my total and complete the transaction. Well this is not the case any more. I feel that I will tell you the names of the institutions that I have come to hate due to the fact that they cannot listen. Taco Bell, Del Taco, Burger King are the Big 3.
I have worked for the Yum corporation and know what it is like to be told how to take orders and up sale customers to promotional items. This is not my issue. You can ask me all the questions you want. If I would like to try this or that new menu item. Or if you would like to donate a dollar to whatever charity. I do not really mind if you ask if I would like to add a cookie, churro, cheese cake bites, caramel empanada. The point is this. DO NOT ASK ME ANY MORE QUESTIONS AFTER YOU SAY " will that be all for you today?" Ounce you have asked this question you give up any right to ask any others. Please stand up with me in helping our order taking friends realize that they are not listening to us. They may hear what we say but are not listening. I hope that we can take a lesson from this and learn to listen better in our lives. Thank you for your time.

Tokens. Tickets, and Trinkets

Well for those of you out there that have been wondering what do do with your winter afternoons... search no further. C E C has you covered. Oh I am sorry that his short for Chuck E Cheese. Ok Ok hear me out on this. Sure there is a problem not being able to get in some times. I usually do not go places that I have to have a stamp on my hand that matches everyone that I came with, and cannot leave without everyone with that same stamp. Oh and there is that other cork about not liking other peoples kids. Put all this aside and I promise that it will be, if not the best, really really close to the best 10$ you have ever sent on your kid.

C E C does some things really well. every machine is only 1 token. Where else can you become a member of C E C P D??? I am an official member of the Extreme team. I have photo I.D. if you need credentials. For 10$ you get 50 tokens and we won 200 tickets or so and got some stick on earrings and a bracelet. Now really how can this not be a fabulous place for a 3 yr. girl??

A friend of mine ( that will remain unnamed) and I have come up with a real money maker Idea for C E C. we purpose that C E C closes one night a month to kids and makes it Adult night. How fun would it be to have Karaoke with Chucky and the gang and play tickets games? Not to mention that there would be 1$ drafts for those that really wanted to spice it up. I would be there.

So next time you are wondering what to do on a cold winter day. Chuck E Cheese is the place to go. Tokens tickets and trinkets will bring a smile to your face no matter how old you are.

Car so lepsy

Carsolepsy: is a human condition that one gets when riding in a moving vehicle for as little as 10 minutes and falls deep asleep.

We all know someone with this condition. Today I would like to give some helpful tips of how we can help those of us that have friends and loved ones that suffer from this rare condition. I first want to preface this post with a disclaimer that these tips have only been tested and the data is still being analyzed to produce firm results.
I have two close family members that have been suffering from this condition for years now. I have noticed that the thing that has made an impact is moving out of Logan UT. For two years we would make the 90 mile drive frequently to visit family and friends and this is when I noticed that my wife had a rare condition of falling asleep really fast upon getting in the car. I would try to have a conversation but that did not seem to work. So I have developed a few counter measures that I hope will make a difference for you.

1) drive with the windows down when ever possible. This does two things; one it will make noise and two it will cause a temperature difference. this only works in the extreme months. spring and fall weather seem only to make things worse.

2) avoid driving in the morning, afternoon, and evening. Night driving is the absolute worst so do not drive after the sun goes down. As a matter of fact just avoid driving all together. If they are not in the car they cannot have an episode.

3) Food. If you have them constantly eating they rarely have an episode. I have found this to be the absolute best possible way to suppress this condition. Weight gain is a major side effect on those that choose this method but it is the most effective.

I know that there is still many unknowns about Carsolepsy, but I feel that with more research and field studies we can find a cure. I hope that you have found this information helpful. I dedicate all my research efforts to my lovely wife Marissa and beautiful daughter Sydney that I hope to cure one day of this condition.

Why Fedruary 14 is important..

Well for all of you out there that my need some help in remembering why February 14th sounds like you have something planned... it is because you do. Whether you remember Valentine's Day or not you have plans. Wives have a funny way of having planned the day out in their minds without even needing you around or knowing that you are involved. However the trick for us men is getting our plan to align whit " The Plan" that has already been create in the Minds of our wives.. A few simple suggestions from me.

1) Remember the Day. it is really important that you get the day right. this is crucial to the plan. if you miss it there is no going back. So do whatever you need to to remember the actual day. if you do this you have a good chance not to mess up to bad.

2) Start asking questions early to find out what "The Plan" is. If you do this and are smart enough to listen she will give you enough information about the plan. Information is power is all aspects of life and the more information on what your wife wants the better off we will all be.

3) Execution is half as important than effort. Well in most cases if the effort is there they will see that and over look the execution. Word of caution this is their plan so if execution matters to your wife this will actually be really important, sorry don't know what else to tell you.

Finally remember the day. Not sure that I have mentioned this but 90% of Valentines Day is remembering. Why do you think that I am writing this?? it is because I am a repetitive learner and if I write it out I might have a better chance of retaining it. But lets not kid ourselves I still have 24 hours to screw this up. Last word of caution. All this so called "advise" is coming for a guy that has crashed and burned more times than succeeded. So take it for what it is worth. More of a, do what I say, than, do what I do type. Good luck, I know that you are going to need it. Oh really quick for the Women out there... Take it easy on us. My grandma always said " Men are no damn good until they are 45". So be patient we will get there.

I AM BACK!!!!!!

Well I am back. I have taken some time off to collect my thoughts and refocus on what I feel is worth sharing. I have learned a lot in the last... well almost 2 years and am excited to share. this is the beginning of a new era. Please watch for the up coming new posts by Truck master Jake. I hope that you can find humor and insightful info here to help you have a better day.